Kids and Shutting Up (rant)

Sometimes folks need to vent, really get nasty, about kids. And I am sooo with them. Kids can be evil, filthy, destructive, rude, annoying, and all too often, contagious. When there is some little brat in a restaurant making my meal an hour long purgatory filled with shrieks and flung food and foot races in the aisles, I can’t help myself from thinking, “Kill it before it grows.”

And sometimes those folks just can’t help themselves either. They feel a burning need to spread the message far and wide. Again, I’m with them. Just look at me, writing this blog. Same thing, really. I understand wanting to be heard. I understand that sometimes you need to share the pain that those wee monsters have caused you. Sing it brother!

Those same folks often feel the need to lecture on exactly how those children might be raised such that they wouldn’t be such awful examples of humanity. And there they lose me. Because they are full of shit. They don’t know the first god damned thing about that kid. they have no fucking clue what those parents have done or tried or been thruough with that child, They don’t know if that kid might be a perfect angel in restaurants except today he got up an hour early on accidetn and failed to eat his lunch because there was a fire drill and then his teenage cousin fed him the entire contents of a family size bag of M&M’s before going out that night. And all too many of these erstwhile paragons of parenting have never been within a mile of a dirty diaper. They know just exactly what they would do in that situatiom! Why it’s so simple! Just _insert asinine idea that’s been tried by various and sundry parents for millennia without luck_.

OH! Why in the hell didn’t I think of that! Just tell them to stop? Just punish them? Just talk to them? Well you are just the font of all knowledge, aren’t you? It’s almost precious how they think they have the answers. And it would be precious if it didn’t make me want to vomit in their laps. Because no one is an expert on that child except the very parents they think they need to educate. Those parents are, in all likelihood, doing their damnedest raise a bright happy and well behaved kid. Not everyone does a good job of it, but the ones who aren’t at least trying are rare. People do the best they can, with mixed results. But as sure shit the complainers couldn’t possibly do better.

So next time it happens, the next time you are stuck in a line at the grocery store with some rugrat sticking his tongue out at you and forcing his mom to take an extra 15 minutes to check out with his wailing and grabbing candy, go ahead and get good and pissed.  I probably would. And feel free to shout yourdispleasure to the world in whatever format you prefer. And then, when you are about to start on the lecture about How It Should All Be Done, just shut the fuck up. Please?


2 Responses

  1. Thanks. I don’t even know what set me off. No one said anything to me recently about how to raise Rowen. I must have overhead something, or read something.

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