Everyone Who Should Have Healthcare

First, me and my family, because we’re awesome. Seriously, awesome sauce has only one ingredient: Clarke.

You. I want you to have healthcare. Anyone reading this. Because you’re pretty fucking awesome too.

The Koch brothers. They are fucks who are actively working to make this country worse. They should have healthcare.

Charles Manson. Crazy ass Charlie should have healthcare.

Robert Palmer, the TA who teaches half my Principles of Literary Study class.

Robert Palmer, the dude who sang that song with those chicks in that video.

Every single member of Congress, their aids, their families, the President, and his family.

The guy who asked me to buy him a hot chocolate at Starbucks the other day (I did, because we should all probably have hot chocolate as well) because he was going back into the mental hospital because living on the streets was to dangerous for him, and for the people around him. he needs healthcare

That MOTHERFUCKING pedestrian who I almost watched get smeared across the highway because she was dressed all in black, crossing in the middle of the road, and on a section of highway with no lights.

Everyone who works at Starbucks and doesn’t write a snarky blog about their customers. And all the ones who do.

That loud guy at the gym.

Taekwondo instructors.

Guys who draw pictures of trains.



Teachers. Even the bad ones. Even the one I had in high school who expected you to just grab a handout as you walked in and turn it back in as you walked out and never did a damned thing but read his paper the whole class so that I never learned a lick of history and in fact hated it up until now.

Dolphin trainers.

Old ladies at the grocery store who look at me funny when I’m sporting my beard but then smile at me when I help them get that item off the top of the shelf.

People who just suck. I wish they’d stop, but I still want them to have healthcare.

Bloggers who write entertaining things for me to read.

Cancer survivors.

The cast of Modern Family.

A 35 year old underachiever who lives in his parents basement and works a part time job just so he doesn’t get kicked out. He smokes way too much pot and has a truly shitty taste in music.

Fox News talking heads.

Minimum wage fast food workers.

Below minimum wage restaurant wait staff.

And everyone else.


Weigh In: 270 Lbs.

Just 8 days since I achieved 275, and now I have achieved 270. I am very happy about this. It’s clear to me now that I need to do an hour of cardio every day, even if I go to the gym. Otherwise, things are just going along the same, whatever I’m doing seem to be working.

Weigh In: 275 lbs.

This has been a good two weeks. The weight has dropped steadily. Though I did not get to the gym once, I did get on the bike every day. I realize now that on those days I do go to the gym, I still need to do an hour of cardio. The extra cardio this week made a clear difference.

It Pains Me

There is no excuse for the pain in my neck. I went to sleep feeling fine. I woke up barely able to move my head. In between those two things I did nothing but sleep. And it was your garden variety sleep, too. It wasn’t Extreme! Sleep! where I perch myself on a 2 inch ledge in 120 degree weather and stand on my hands while trying to attain 8 hours of REM sleep. I was even in a bed, a nice one, with clean sheets. Just sleep. And the result is a seriously tweaked neck. There can be only one conclusion:

Reality is broken.

Weigh In: 280 Lbs.

So this took a lot longer than I thought it would take. I’ve actually been under 280 for most of the last 2 weeks. But because I would occasionally cross back over, I couldn’t count it.  It was annoying.

The problem is with food. Damned, delicious food. I’ve been doing cardio 6 or 7 days a week, so that’s taken care of, but I do love bad food. And I love going to a restaurant to get it. Rowen feels the same, so she’s no help when I ask “So, should I cook? Or maybe we can go to Fatty McFatfat’s Deepfried Steakand Icecream Parlor?” Her reply is “I’ll get my coat!”

So I intigated a new policy. If we eat out and it’s just Rowen and I, we can only go to Subway (where I really can have a sensible meal and enjoy it thoroughly), Kyoto (local sushi place, but I only have one roll), or Baja Fresh (pronounced improperly in homage to Paulie Walnuts). Seems to have started working already. If Mia is with us then we can go to those mid-level family restaurant chains we love so much.

Fast food is still verboten.

Weigh In: 285 lbs

Last we heard from our intrepid hero, he had weighed in at 290 way way WAY back in late October. But I have a good excuse for me long delayed weigh in. Many excuses actually: Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinner, Thanksgiving leftovers, the whole damn weekend of Thanksgiving, Christmas cookies, I think you all see where this is going.

So I basically hovered near 285 that whole time. A few tims I came close, but no cigar. Still, I have to say I was not to concerned about it. I knew I wasn’t going to keep a close rein on myself over the holidays. I was happy to just stay at the same weight.

In the last few weeks I’ve been regularly back on the bike and watching my eating a lot closer and the pounds have been coming off. I think I’ll hit 280 fairly soon, like in 8-10 days.

Also, I joined New York Sports Club. I’ve been a member of gyms before, with pathetic results. Still, it was time to go beyond simple cardio workouts on the exercise bike. I’m looking forward to having a more varied workout, plus I’ll be seeing a trainer a few times, so that should result in a much more effective workout than what I’m likely to come up with.

We’ll see.

Weigh In: 290 lbs

(I actually hit 290 yesterday but forgot to post, what with all the celebrating and cake and champaign)

Today: 290 Weight Loss: 10 lbs

That’s 10 lbs in a month. I think I can keep that up for a long time. I’ve added time to my bike workouts. Before I was on for 30 minutes every weekday, resistance at 10 (max), and I’d trade off a 60-90 seconds at 20 MPH then back down to 16 MPH for 3 minutes. Now I do the same, but once I’m done with the initial 30 minutes that way, I drop the resistance to 5 and turn on a show on Tivo or a movie on dvd and watch that for an additional 30, or until the show is over. I’ve been burning a lot more calories that way, about 400 a day.

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