Daughter, Don’t Let Miley Cyrus Be Any Kind of Lesson at All

Dear Daughter,

You have by now seen the video of Miley twerkin’ it. You may also have read some posts filled with moral outrage at her actions. Or maybe tearful concern for the poor girl we once knew so well, on TV (you know, the fictitious TV show written by grown men and women and broadcast by a corporation whose sole aim is to make even more money, that girl we knew so well). Or a bunch of other bullshit.

Ignore it all. It doesn’t apply to you. Here’s why:

You are not Miley Cyrus.

I hope that doesn’t come as a shock to you. You are not the daughter of a one hit wonder musician desperate to relive his glory days. You are not the former star of an extruded Disney TV product. You are not a 20 year old with fame and scads of cash and an audience of millions. You have not been raised with one goal in mind, fame. You are educated.

(And I’m sorry about the lack of fame and money, seriously, my bad.)

You have as much in common with Miley Cyrus as you do with a 50 year old captain of a shrimp boat, almost nothing.

So you go on doing those things you have been doing: getting good grades, straying out of trouble, trying to figure out who you are in the world, struggling, succeeding, kicking ass. Miley can take care of herself.


Hey Miley? All those bluenoses tututing at you? Fuck ’em!

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